The Next Best Thing: A Baker in the Making

The Next Best Thing: A Baker in the Making: In life, I am horrible at picking “the best” or “my favorite” instead electing to use the High Fidelity method of choosing a top five (and...

My Next Hero

My next hero will be a hero because of their ideas, because of their strength of character, because of their willingness to do the right thing at all cost.  Ideally they’ll have all of the following things straight, and not only will they believe these things but they’ll have the heart and balls to say them.
 

1.       Believes in the trickle up economy.  If money goes to those at the bottom, they can afford rent which goes to those in the middle who can in turn afford new cars which fuels the corporations creating jobs and eventually that money makes its way back to the top. 

2.       Understands that they are not perfect, they do not know everything, and they are willing to admit their faults, failures and mistakes.

3.       Wants universal healthcare, education, and retirement for everyone.

4.       Believes your 401k is the biggest Ponzi scheme ever created.

5.       Wants to leave marriage alone as religious ceremony, and instead pursues civil unions as the government accepted form of commitment, allowing it for any two humans.

6.       Knows the evils of grain and pharmaceutical companies and is willing to call them out.

7.       Believes in fixing America before fixing other countries.

8.       Doesn’t have money… wants money but is willing to wait until after their public service to make it, and is not willing to sell themselves while in office.

9.       Knows that spreading the word of a religion is not a charity, and from here on out organizations like this need to pay taxes.  With that said, giving to a religion is not a charitable donation.  But at the same time they understand that religions can be charitable, can be an outstanding pillar for their community.

10.   Shit, at this point I’m pretty sure I’ve ruled everyone out… I’m just gonna have to do it myself.

What I wish someone would say, and maybe a little of what I would say...

I may not be what everyone in this state is looking for in a candidate, that's not lost on me.  Our state is divided in a way that we have never seen before.  I know the last year has been a hard one for most Wisconsinites, for most Americans, and jobs and healthcare and taxes are weighing on your mind. Answers to these things will come, but not at the cost of our humanity, not at the cost of our community spirit, and not at the cost of our children’s futures.  I’m not here to prove to you that my idea is better, or smarter... I am here to speak of my passion for Wisconsin.  I grew up in a small town of about 5000 people, and I understand what high school sports and marching bands and art classes mean when you're growing up. I live for the small communities, the back road highways, and the incredible foliage this state displays.  I know what main street programs can do to revitalize our towns and cities.  Wisconsin is my home, my favorite state in the union, but she is torn, and she needs our help to heal.  And you know what, if that means raising taxes I'll do it.  I will.  But I'll do it minimally and I'll do it to the corporations and those who can afford to pitch in... not to the middle class, and certainly not to those less fortunate than that.  I am not here to take away your money, nor your rights.  My favorite freedom is the freedom of speech, it's what allows me to talk to you today... but I would never take away your right to defend yourself, or your right to own a gun.  I may not hunt, but I respect those that do.  Wisconsin is a state of responsible outdoorsmen, but guns aren't only for hunting.  Who am I to prevent you from defending yourself?  No, I will not take that away.  And I also know the bravery of the men and women in our armed forces and the sacrifice that they commit to, and to give them anything less than the respect they have earned is offensive.  They die to protect our freedoms and in their spirit I will do my best to protect those freedoms here in Wisconsin.  Never again will anyone feel so neglected, so beaten, and so mute that they must gather by the thousands and protest on our capitol.  We must all have a voice for democracy to succeed.  We must all have voices and opinions and we must also compromise for the good of our neighbors.  We must support each other, and when one of us falls we need to pick them up, pick them up and move forward together until they can walk on their own.  No more bullying, no more shoving, no more throwing people or parties under the bus, not in our home, not in Wisconsin.

Because we’re truly just a bunch of whiny rich kids...

Gregory: So I read your blog the other day, and I felt like you were talking shit about me… what gives man!?

Dustin: What can I say?  I’m petty.  I judge you for talking behind other people’s backs, and I do it while talking behind your back.  That makes me a complete hypocrite.  But don’t worry!  You are petty too.  You’re petty in that right now you are saying “At least I’m not as petty as other people.”  Yeah, that’s you being petty again, Greg. 

Gregory:  Whatever jerk, I’m not that petty.

Dustin:  Listen.  It’s too easy to attack friends, too easy to judge you because I’ve got a front row seat… and as if that wasn’t good enough, you let me behind the curtain.  Friends will let you see the mess that they are hiding, and then you’ve got but two options.  No, really it’s just the two… One, I judge you to your face.  Two, I judge you behind your back.  I’m going to do it.  I don’t know if it has always been this way but it’s human nature now, an unstoppable force.  I know I am going to talk behind your back.  I know I am going to be petty.  I know I am going to be a hypocrite.

Gregory: Well ain’t that a bunch of bullshit.  If you know you’re going to be petty, you can totally stop yourself.  If you know you’re going to talk behind my back, just stop uttering words and it won’t happen.

Dustin: I would still be thinking it.  I would still be judging you.  You’re right, it’s better not to say the words.  But in my brain, the words are said either way.

Gregory: Well in your brain they don’t hurt as much.

Dustin: Touché…

Gregory: So why, why Dustin are you such a huge douche bag?

Dustin:  Listen, can you calm down with the hostility.

Gregory: Fuck you, you’ve got two minutes to change my mind or I am done with you for good.

Dustin: Alright, alright, fine… I always go back to the same argument.  Two of my best friends are seemingly now republicans.  For me it’s like they’ve gone from intelligent to insane over the last couple years.  These days, it’s hard to befriend someone with opposing values because you wear your friends like badges on a Boy Scout uniform.  You can go to my facebook page right now and see all of my badges, every bat shit crazy friend that I’ve got.  And every day they post something, I might agree, I might disagree, it could be profound or prove to me that they are a complete moron.  And then every day I watch the “news” and see how opposite republicans and democrats are supposed to be.  Like separating blacks and whites, girls and boys, Red Socks fans and Yankees fans.  It infiltrates our better judgment. 

Gregory:  Get to the point already…

Dustin: The point is, two of my best friends are republicans, and honestly I hate it.  I want to grab them and shake them and fill them with knowledge, but instead I talk shit about them, I persecute them in my head.  Some to their face, some behind their backs...  and I’ve known them for years, if they were like this in the beginning I would have never become friends with them.

Gregory: You’re losing me.

Dustin: You don’t get it?  They’re still my friends… I would kill for these people.  They are two of my best friends and if need be I’d beat some bitches up for them.  Yet I still talk shit, and I judge.  I’m petty, I’m hypocritical… hypercritical… and now I’m going to tell you that it’s okay.

Gregory: How the fuck is that okay?  You’re not my friend if you’re judging me!  I would never do that to you.

Dustin: Well you’re judging me right now for my opinions, aren’t you?  Either agreeing or disagreeing.  If you stop being my friend over this, and state that you are making a moral stand against being hypercritical, then aren’t you just being hypercritical?  Will you honestly never talk about me behind my back, ever again?

Gregory: Well that’s different… you obviously threw the first stone.  You blogged about me for Christ’s sake!

Dustin: Greg, I’ve known you for years.  Decades actually!  Are you telling me that you have never, not once, in all the years, ever said a bad word about me.  Never even though a bad word about me???

Gregory: Fuck decades ass hole.  Those didn’t count.  I never hurt you like this.

Dustin: So that’s a yes?  You’ve talked shit about me, you’ve disagreed with me, you’ve blamed me for shit and never said a word about it to me?

Gregory: Yea, but like I said, that was different…

Dustin: You’re right, it was different.  You didn’t blog the shit for all seven of your followers to see it.  But I bet you’ve told people my secrets.  I bet you’ve shared bad opinions about me with others.

Gregory: Yeah, but I’ve told people good things about you too!  I am always telling people how you’re a good friend.  And when you watched my dogs that one weekend when I had my grandma’s funeral, I mean you really helped me out there man.  But I expect things like that from my friends, I expect a certain level of compassion towards me… your friend.

Dustin: So now it’s okay for you to judge me behind my back, talk shit about me, tell my secrets, have high expectations of me, and you are still morally on the high ground?

Gregory: Well how is it okay for you to do it?

Dustin: Because we all do it.  We are all dumb for two seconds and let something slip.  We are all amped up after a disagreement and talk shit to the wrong person.  We all have opinions and sometimes push them in the wrong ways and directions.  We all do it.  I know that I do it, and I can forgive you before, during, and after you do it… because I’ve been there, I’ve been the jerk, the ass hole, the douche bag, and I forgave myself.

Gregory: Damn it… how can I forgive you?  It’s still not cool.

Dustin: No, you’re right… and I will try to catch myself more often before I say bad shit, no promises other than I will try.  And you know damn well I don't mean to hurt you... I am sorry if and when I hurt you, always.

Gregory: Decades man… yeah I know.  I do it too.  And you're probably right, it's petty.  Alright, I admit it... I am petty.  I am sorry too man... I've been hypocritical, and shit I can't believe I would have thrown our friendship away for something I do at the same time.

Dustin: Hey I can’t blame you, I mean we are seriously wired for drama now days.  I don’t know if it’s just too much tv and reading fiction novels, or if it’s the “news” or just that we aren’t challenged anymore because failure isn’t death, failure is bankruptcy or bad grades or losing a job or girlfriend.  We think our lives are impossible, our dreams unreachable, our friends not good enough, our families too judgmental, our jobs fall short, and nobody understands our plight. We have unreasonable expectations of life, and it feels like we create drama to fill the voids.

Gregory: No yeah I think you’re right.  Hypercritical is the right word.

Dustin: Hey, I am just happy we could work this out.  I don’t want to have that drama between us, we are lucky.  I am lucky to have you as a friend.

Gregory: Thanks man, and I know what you’re saying about the drama.  I do have some unreasonable expectations.

Dustin:  Yeah man, you’ve got a great life, a great wife.  Everyone has something stellar in their life that they are forgetting or just plain overlooking.  They have a decent house, or great friends, or a supportive family, or a good job, or a fun hobby, I mean we don’t need everything to be perfect.

Gregory: I know.  Sometimes when I feel like I am whining over something stupid, I try to step back and realize that I could be a kid in Darfur missing both of my arms, starving and hungry and next up to be raped.

Dustin: Jesus dude, way to ruin a good conversation!

Gregory: What?  Just sayin…

The World's Worst Baker

For years I have been plagued with the notion that I am in fact the World’s Worst Baker.  Growing up, I often found myself alone in the kitchen somewhat scrounging for food.  No, I wasn’t some charity case, bare cupboards, latchkey kid… but in some ways, looking back on it with the prospective of a grown man, I indeed was.  Mom worked extremely hard to keep us clothed and fed.  She worked second shift for a good portion of my teen years, while also going to school for her degree.  As kids, my brother and I came to know leftovers as our best meals, but often we either cooked canned foods or microwave dinners on our own.  And I, with an insatiable sweet tooth, loved making boxed brownies and cookies off the Toll House recipe on the back of the bag.  However, that was the extent of my baking ability. 


Truth be told, I love cooking on a stovetop.  I love being able to immediately change my food with a sprinkle of cayenne or basil, taste test every moment, and put my nose up close and smell the juices meld into the dish.  The idea of measuring and prepping and not opening the oven door for 15 straight minutes is hard to stomach.  And then enter into my life three incredible bakers.  Sherré who makes these giant ginger cookies, and I am not one that ever liked ginger, but these with a moist crunch and dense buttery flair of what I never knew ginger could be, they made me sad that I couldn’t be trusted to follow a recipe.  Then Lisa whose coconut toffee cookies and banana bread became legal tender that put today’s gold standard to shame.  And her German Chocolate Brownie Torte is still number one on the all-time top five of “Oh My God” foods.  And now Lora’s scones, which ruined my perception of the dense and dry baked hockey pucks depicted as television fodder.  They emanate golden light as if their main ingredients were halos and unicorn horns.  These bakers became my only source of glory, yet each of them played it off as if they were just following a recipe.

So my big idea: Follow a recipe. 

This, after the fact, is laughable.

I woke up this morning craving scones.  And knowing that neither Lisa nor Lora would be able to accommodate these cravings (both very busy) I decided to make my own.  After all, I did see Paula Dean make scones on TV last weekend, and she made it look very easy.  So with an empty stomach and a fist full of laptop, I found myself the first recipe on Google’s search.  And there it was, Apricot Ginger Scones.  It called for apricots, crystalized ginger, and heavy cream.  And since I didn’t have any of those I figured what the hell I’ll wing it.  I believe it was 3 minutes and 28 seconds into my idea of following a recipe that I decided to no longer worry about a recipe.

Substitutes… well there was no fruit in the house, dried or fresh.  Instead, thanks to my roommates “go to” pie (yes even my roommate can bake) we had ample supplies of walnuts and chocolate chips.  And then was born a new recipe for Chocolate Chip Walnut Scones!  Still no heavy cream… in fact I stopped drinking milk all together about 8 weeks ago, but we do have Soy Milk, and I’m sure that’s… close… enough?  With all of my substitutes completed, I found myself half a stick of butter shy of my buttery needs, so spreadable butter with canola oil would have to do.  And not the frozen butter the scones called for… I’m not waiting for room temperature butter to freeze, I’m frickin’ hungry now!
If you’re keeping track at home, I have basically changed 2/3rds of the recipe… but I did use the right amounts of sugar, flour, baking powder, and salt… well maybe not salt (I eyeballed that one), but basically all the dry goods.  Here’s what I came up with:

Chocolate Chip Walnut Scones

2 cups (10 ounces) unbleached all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon ground ginger some chopped walnuts
1/2 teaspoon salt some salt
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, frozen and cut into 1/4-inch cubes ½ stick room temp butter with 2 scoops of buttery spread
3/4 cup chopped moist dried apricots some chocolate chips
1/4 cup crystallized ginger, roughly chopped
1 cup heavy cream 1 cup soy milk

I mixed the dry goods, then poured in the soy milk and cut pieces of butter into the sticky ball.  And you know what, it actually smelled delicious!  I then got my hands dirty and gently kneaded the dough for about 30 seconds.  I pounded out the ball into a 10 inch wide circle on a floured surface, then cut the dough into 8 wedges and baked them at 425 for 14 minutes.  I didn’t even open the oven door… more than 4 times.

So you read this far… what do you think?  Were they horribly dry, 2 inch thick, flour tortilla chips with a walnutty aftertaste?  Or were they incredible nuggets of Easter bunny hearts, still warm and flaky?  Well I can tell you this… I never thought I’d like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia… I mean Danny DeVito is over the hill and that theme music from 50’s television, what’s up with that!?  But, for me, Charlie Day is just really watchable as an idiot… kinda the way I expect people felt about Gilligan back in the day.

Number 9 on my Top 5

So I decided to include dating when writing my New Year's Resolution list... Number 9 on my top five.  I've decided to avoid Match.com because it's a waste of money, and I made the Craigslist mistake once too... not again!  So I am sticking to Plenty of Fish, a free online dating site.  Online dating has worked for a few friends, and I've met a few incredible women online, so here's to hope!  Now all I had to do was write a catchy profile, and for this I've gone with an adaptation of sorts from an idea that was used on Craigslist to find a roommate (search Best Roommate Ever).  I did use this at one point in the past, but I've tweaked it a little (and when I did use it, I honestly wasn't even ready to date).  So here goes!  You can also see this on my POF profile, WassilyArcs.

POF Profile for WassilyArcs
I can only assume that my future is reading this right now, so hello for the first time my wonderful better half (can I also say, you are looking really damn good tonight!)... and for those of you reading that are not her, well thank you for stopping by and feel free to say hello, I am all for new friends and you're obviously really cool. I must also assume you are looking for the best possible guy. He's funny, he's handsome, and there's just enough spark to keep you happy. And you (just like I) seriously think you can find them in a random webpage profile. Friends might even ask you, as they have me, "Are you ****ing crazy?" Well, I'm not crazy... and I hope this is a positive in your eyes. I also have no open warrants, no random babies running around, no outstanding parking tickets, never spent a night in jail (though I secretly wish I had), and I've only been caught speeding once. Does this mean I am some sort of perfect do gooder, **** no... I'm just not all that dangerous.

Now why would you believe me? A lot of guys just tell you what you want to hear. Why? Well they want to get in your pants. Do I want to get in your pants? Of course! You're a foxy woman, and after a few dates I am going to romance those pants right off... but until then, I promise to be a gentlemen (well, mostly). What about after the loss of said pants... am I going to run for the hills? No! I just spent several dates getting to know you, I'm not leaving, I'm probably going to want breakfast... my treat! And if all goes well at breakfast, another date! So... am I lying? I can't lie to you... not because it's wrong, but because I know it would hurt you... so I can't mentally do it. This goes for pretty much everyone in my life (excluding work). That means no cheating and no stealing too, cause I just can't lie to you.

So why am I worth your time? I'm going to spend my life trying to make yours better, everyday. You have a flat tire, I'm there. You're hungry and we forgot to go shopping, I'm creating a three course meal dinner impossible style, or calling your favorite take out place, your choice. You think I forgot our anniversary? PSYCH! I get you a thoughtful gift and take you to dinner (minimum)... and I skip any other social obligation because you are the person that matters most. Christmas? I got you that thing you mentioned you wanted 8 months ago in passing, cause yeah I was ****ing listening. Is that all I got you, hell no... 23 gifts from big to small, romantic to practical, I covered all the bases. You had a bad day at work, well sit down and talk to me about it, I'll make you a drink and rub your feet (and yeah my foot massage will turn your day around). You think the bathroom is too small, well I just ripped down a wall and expanded, putting in a two person jacuzzi, grab the champagne cause it's time to relax! You want to go on vacation, well let's burn some personal days and head to Monaco! It's warm, it's on the water, it has tons of history and Paris isn't that far away!

With all that said, am I some mamby pamby pushover? sh*t no, I just make exceptions for the love of my life. I want to come home and give you a hug after my day, and spend time with you, even hear what's new with that coworker of yours. I am out the door when you need time alone, and home when you want to cuddle while watching How I Met Your Mother. I split the chores with you, but I secretly do more just to make your life easier. I split the bills with you, and I pay early. I take you out to just as many dinners as you take me to. I can cook meatloaf, salmon, chicken masala... you're a vegetarian??? I am studying how to cook for you right now... and I can't say I'll give up meat, but I will certainly eat less of it!

What are the dealbreakers? Well I am me, and though I will change a little for you over time, you might not like some things about me. I will divulge these now. I voted for Obama, support a woman's right to choose, and think that gay people should have the same rights as everyone else. I am not overly political, but I do believe we should vote and pay attention. I believe in a greater power, but I'm not here to judge your beliefs or force mine on you. Can I see both sides, yes... and if I am missing one, I will damn sure try to learn. Kids, yes I would love to have kids... in a perfect world. But if the love of my life doesn't want kids, then I chose the love of my life. There are so many other areas in life to spend effort and time, and kids would be fun but so would 3 vacations a year. I drive a crappy car, why? Because I'd rather drive a crappy car to a home I own, than drive a nice car to an apartment. Do I smoke, no... it's disgusting. Do I do drugs, no but I am not anti-drug. Do I drink, sometimes... and I like it, but I know my limits.

Now that this has been said, I like ambiance, good lighting, booths over chairs, windows, I prefer Life over Monopoly by far, but I would really love to find someone that plays a little cribbage or backgammon or Settlers of Catan or Ticket to Ride, I enjoy going to Brewers games, and went to two this summer, I try to grill out or have a bonfire at least once a month, I haven't missed a Packer game on TV or Radio in the last 20 years, I have picked pumpkins from the pumpkin patch and carved them with friends every year for the last four years, I get a real Christmas tree every year, and decorate it with whomever might be around that day, I have two guitars that haven't been played in 2 years, but I still want to learn, I enjoy oil paints over acrylic and watercolor, though I really don't paint that often, it is my goal to play tennis once a week this summer, as well as disc golf twice a week, and hit the gym 4 times a week. I grew vegetables this summer in my garden (yeah that's right, a ****ing garden!). If I had to choose, my drink of choice would be water (no, that doesn't make me boring). Milk is a close second (still not boring!), a good beer is third (right now I'm craving a Central Waters Cream Ale). I love writing, I consider myself a writer. I also love cooking, my favorite thing to make is pan seared crusted salmon with a dijon dill dipping sauce, I make a better meatloaf than your mom (if you don't believe me, we'll duel Iron Chef style!). Vegetable of choice: broccoli.

Someday I want to be a successful writer, win a few awards, and have a huge bank account, until then I will struggle through my cubicle life with just enough money to be happy. In the end, that dream is still just a job. In life I find love much more important. That's where you come in. Have I told you how good you look today?


Why do I like you so much? You know how to relax and love to get out into sunlight and rainstorms. You enjoy boardgames, movies, tv, and are willing to play tennis, maybe even disc golf, build a snowman or sandcastle, and you introduce me to something new every once in a while. You're a woman that loves me for the best version of me, and sticks with me when I'm at my worst. And just so you know, the worst of me still comes with respect, devotion, doesn't cheat, doesn't lie, and has your back at all cost. The best of me is better yet, and you make me even greater.

So I like that you are a procrastinator, but send me a message already!

A Man's World

That last button at the brink of the collar just before you put on a black bowtie… it’s tight, you go from comfort to custom, a uniform of modern wedding culture.  And yes, of course, the classic James Bond comes to mind, but more than that you’re one part night club sleek badass ladies man with a gun under his vest, and the other part leashed lap dog dressed up for show and freshly neutered.  Sure you’ll have Bond moments throughout the evening but this wedding isn’t yours, it’s a ladies affair filled with flowers and pictures, bubbles and dancing.  The closest you’ll get to feeling like a man is that one shot you’ll do with some old college buddies, and before you can set up a second round it’ll be time to mingle, MINGLE with your new in-law grandparents.

I have no desire to go to another cliché girly wedding just to watch the groom slip into a walking coma unable to enjoy more than an ounce of his wedding night.  You know he won’t even get laid tonight, she’ll be way too tired after such an exhibition.  Maybe it’s time we spin this party round, and make sure the groom has a little fun before his demise.

Drinks, dinner, cake, dancing… none of the classics will be touched.  After dinner, lavish curtain are pulled back on seven makeshift rooms surrounding the main party.  These seven wonders are filled with different celebratory atmospheres. The first room will house the wedding cake and an espresso bar with a barista to take your orders.  The second room, a photo booth with costumes, props, and a photographer to assist in taking pictures.  The third will have couches and three televisions, each with a different game (Goleneye for N64, Mario Kart Double Dash for Gamecube, and Tekken Tag for PS2).  The fourth room will have hundreds of pictures from birth to proposal of the bride and groom along with a signing photo.  The fifth will be set up for beer pong, cups, and quarters and have its own keg of beer.  The sixth room will be a massage parlor with two massage therapists, tantalizing scents, and 15 minute chair massages.  And the seventh room will serve as a private sitting space where the bride and groom can disappear whenever they need a few moments of time together or to talk with special guests.

Seven wonders, and not all of them just for the boy inside the man, but seven wonders of compromise to be enjoyed by all ages and partygoers.  And though they sound expensive, once you get rid of half the flowers, the overpriced dress, centerpieces, photographers, and cakes, the cost will be about the same… and your wedding will be more memorable than any affair I’ve ever been to.  This is a man’s world, and I revel in the though… but it would be nothing, nothing, not one little thing without a woman or a girl.

New Years Resolution UPDATES

This will be the blog post I use to make updates to my New Years Resolution list... the other blog post was entirely too long.

New Year’s Resolution 2012:
1. Write at least 1 blog post every month. Yes this is one less per month than last year’s goal, but it only doubles what I’ve done already, so it feels like the right number. Eventually I would like to blog weekly.  UPDATE - I AM WRITING ONE NOW!!  I also wrote one in February.

2. Join a fitness club and go no less than twice a week, also go vegetarian for 2 full weeks. I really like the idea of going vegetarian for a few weeks (this one is inspired by Derrick and Sherre, and I may need some help with it). I think it will challenge me as a chef, and teach me a few new healthy meals. Also I need to put fitness in the forefront of my life, so instead of setting arbitrary weight loss goals, let’s just work out.  UPDATE - I JUST JOINED ADVENTURE 212 WITH NICK N, AND SEVERAL OTHERS ARE JOINING TOO... GOOD SUPPORT SYSTEM.
UPDATE - 5 weeks strong.

3. Three Home Projects, Basement Paint, Basement Floor, Bathroom Counter. Home projects are game changers! Completing another basement room means I have more storage to reduce clutter, and a nicer basement to attract new roommates. A new bathroom counter is the start of redoing a bathroom that thoroughly needs it, and I’d like to create my own tile bathroom counter, so it will challenge me artistically as well.  UPDATE - The date is set for the Basement floor... now I just have to choose what to put down.

4. Get 4 massages and take 4 car loads of stuff to Goodwill. I needed a few softballs in my lineup, and this is a split. Four massages seems easy, but it will improve my overall state of relaxation, and I think that is very important. Four carloads of stuff to Goodwill is much tougher, but the reduced clutter will help create a better home life.  UPDATE - WHEN JOINING ADVENTURE 212, I RECEIVED HALF OFF A MASSAGE... Used it, great 90 minute massage.

5. Use 5000 lights for Christmas decorating. Softball? Maybe… but 5000 lights is double my best Christmas lighting year at the house and this year I only used about 1000 lights. This should give me an attainable creative goal in the early winter months. Also, my house has the saddest Christmas lights on my street... time to show them who's Tony.  UPDATE - BOUGHT SOME NEW CARDINALS WITH CHRISTMAS LIGHTS IN THEM.

6. Get 6 members of the family to stay overnight in Point. This goal isn’t easy. My family is fucked up beyond repair, but it would be great to have some family members up, and have a nice old fashioned family vacation style night with the cousins and aunts and uncles…

7. Spend 7 nights out of town, represent The Globe at Comicon, and spend nights at both Kristeve’s house and Roger’s house. So Comicon is the big one, that’s 3 nights out of town minimum, but I haven’t stayed over much at Kristin and Steve’s, and still haven’t seen Roger’s house or kiddo. Now, with that said, I haven’t seen Katharine and Drew in ages, or Laura, or Derrick’s new baby boy, or the Felder’s house… that list could go on for a while. Let’s start with these and see if we can get further.  UPDATE - ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD SNAGGED ME A 7 NIGHT STAY IN A FLORIDA CONDO FOR $250!  SO THAT WILL TAKE CARE OF 7 NIGHTS RIGHT THERE, BUT ALSO COMICON IS A GO!!!

8. Finish 8 things I’ve started, including Pregnant Hillbillies and Bring Out Your Dead. I am a brilliant idea man, but I rarely finish anything. It’s time to start.  UPDATE - TRACY HAS HOOKED ME UP WITH ALL THE PH DRAWINGS, AND I PURCHASED NEW INK AND CARDSTOCK TO START PRINTING THE PROMOS.

9. Go on 9 dates and stop being overly cautious with my dating choices. Well it’s true, I am way too cautious… it’s time to open up a bit, see what the world brings me.  UPDATE - I AM BACK ON POF... TELL YOUR FRIENDS!
UPDATE -  Off of POF again, just didn't feel right...


10. Throw 1000 holes of Disc Golf in at least 10 months of the year. I was so very close this year, and now with more vacation and less overtime I think I can achieve this goal.  UPDATE: JB HOOKED ME UP WITH A SAN MARINO STAR ROC, OH YEAH!
UPDATE - I missed February and January, so I have to go 10 for 10 in the next 10 months...

11. Save $1100 from intuitive cost changes. This one is right in my wheelhouse, and I will report my savings to you and maybe inspire you to do the same. I will be starting with my homeowner’s insurance, assholes jacked up my rates for next year by 200 bucks!  UPDATE -  I SAVED $382 THIS YEAR BY SWITCHING MY HOMEOWNERS AND CAR INSURANCES, AND THE COVERAGE IS ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME.

12. Do 12 major things with my bro. I enjoy spending time with my bro, so this one would probably happen even if it weren’t on my New Year’s Resolution list… but I want to get him out to a few major events if we can find the right timing.  UPDATE - FIRST MOVIE NIGHT OF THE YEAR IS SET FOR BRO'S BASEMENT.  UPDATE - First movie night went great!  Setting up a possible Brewers game for the end of January.