New Years Resolution List

It's 2011 bitches, 1 year before the end! How are you gonna spend your year? Building a fallout shelter? Good luck! Stockpiling ammo and food supplies? Probably not a bad idea in case Zombies take over... Getting sober? Well fuck that, I say drink up... shit's about to hit the fan!

Before apes invade, before the moon collides with the earth, before a third world war or the second big bang... I just need to get some things straight! Here's my list of shit to do in 2011:

1. Complete a Movie Script
Right now I have started a few, but it's time to really sit down and write!

2. Perform a Marriage Ceremony
Steven Stilp and Kristin Kelley are getting married on June 10th this year, and have asked me to oversee the ceremony.

3. Replace pipes in Basement
There are a few leaks down there, and before I finish the ceiling in the Bar, I need to reroute some pipes. I also need to change out the sacrificial rod in the water heater. There's a good deal of plumbing for 2011.

4. Blog at least twice a month
Well I am getting closer to this goal, and I do need a creative outlet of some kind... so this one should be plausible.

5. Complete promo set for Pregnant Hillbillies
Tracy has done a great job of completing the illustrations for this set; I just need to sit down and build the cards, then complete the rules, and finally print everything out for testing.

6. Fill all four garden beds and use at least 50% of what grows
Well I built the garden beds, might as well fill them huh? My step mom has pledged me a good deal of strawberries, Dan has taken some interest in gardening, Sherre is going to help me plan the veggies, and I may just give away one of the plots to any friends without enough room for their own garden. Ideally this will be a communal friends and family garden.

7. Brew 20 gallons of Beer
Well I have the Mr. Beer kit right now, with 7 gallons of beer ready to go. However, I would like to purchase a 5 gallon ale pail so I can take a little more responsibility in my brewing. Matt has one, and I am helping him with his first brew there, seems easy enough!

8. Lose 35 lbs
I have joined a team for the 2011 Community Weight Race in Stevens Point, and this goal seems a bit lofty, but attainable. After all, I did build a decent little gym in my basement, just have to use it more often!

9. Build a Cat Tree/House
I've always wanted to try my hand at a cat tree... time to start! My cats are cool, they deserve a functional play tower. So, I am going to gather some good carpet scraps, and design a cool cat tree house for them.

10. Get the cover art for Globe finished
If I can't get someone to complete this by the end of the year, I am gonna have to do it myself! I can draw, but it will take me forever to do a decent job.

11. Spend 3 nights in a row not at home
I know, weird right? But I haven't spent more than 2 nights away from my home in over 10 years. It's time to take a vacation, even if it's just to the Dells.

12. Read 3 books
Yeah I know, this is the craziest thing on the list. If you know me, you know my lack of reading ability. So here goes. I will read 3 books this year. In fact, I will read the first three books posted in comments to this blog. 1 book suggestion per person, and if no one comments (highly likely) I will choose three on my own. Make'em good people!

So there is my list for 2011, sounds tough but I am going to complete it 100%! Oh and if you are getting sober, please continue to do so... we'll tackle the Apocalypse together!

Dustin's Top 30 Christmas Classics

Christmas! It can mean so many things as an adult… between shopping for expensive gifts that will likely be returned, fighting with an uncaring employer just to get two freakin’ days off, listening to nonstop horribly redone Christmas songs on the radio, and driving cross state or country to be with a family you choose not to visit 364 days of the year… who can blame you for launching a turkey leg at Grandma in the middle of your Christmas feast, then storming off for the nearest bar??

Why can’t Christmas be simple, like it used to be, viewed through our childhood eyes. Filled with decorating fresh cut Christmas trees, wrapping gifts with elaborate paper and bows, driving round town to visit the best outdoor Christmas lights, building gingerbread houses, decorating sugar cookies, carolers, snow angels, and a loving family huddled around a tv watching that one quintessential Christmas classic that fits your family to a tee.

I say we can! We can become children again, regain that glimmer once shared by your whole 2nd grade class as it wrote out a Christmas list for Santa. I know reclaiming Christmas spirit may sound impossible, but I come from a truly Fucked Up family. I was once a casualty of Christmas, probably after Grandma gave me a basket of used hair care products for Christmas. Now, if my spirit drops during the taint of the holiday season (no longer Thanksgiving, but not quite Christmas), I pick a movie from my Christmas top 30, and I veg.

For your viewing pleasure, I have listed my top 30 Christmas classics. However, these are not in order of greatness or rewatchability, they are in the order I plan to watch them. One year, in the not so distant future (2015 to be exact)… I plan on watching these movies, one a day, every day, from Thanksgiving through Christmas. Here is the order in which they will play:

Thanksgiving Night – Christmas Night (30 days ‘til Christmas 2015)

1. Trading Places (1983) – Thanksgiving Night
Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy trade places, from bum to millionaire stock broker. This might also be the only movie on this list with breasts.

2. Serendipity (2001)
Just enough magic for this John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale romance to be convincing.

3. Lethal Weapon (1987)
Veteran cop Danny Glover must cope with the acts of his new renegade partner played by Mel Gibson. Features the best Christmas tree lot shooting scene, ever.

4. Just Friends (2005)
Ryan Reynolds used to be fat, but now he’s thin, successful, and after his HS dream girl played by Amy Smart. Can he overcome his own ego to snag the woman of his dreams?

5. Elf (2003)
Will Ferrell thinks he’s an elf, more importantly Zooey Deschanel sings like an angel. I think I might be in love with this woman.

6. Grumpy Old Men (1993) – December 1st
Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau fight over a neighbor lady that just moved in. Burgess Meredith steals the show though as an off color Grandpa hitting on women in the produce department.

7. Jack Frost (1998)
Michael Keaton plays the role of a caring father, only… he is aLsO A SNOWMAN!

8. Love Actually (2003) – My 36th Birthday
Probably the Ocean’s Eleven of love stories and on many personal top 10 lists of all time. Too many great actors/actresses to mention, this film will make you fall in love, with everyone.

9. Die Hard (1988)
Bruce Willis is John McClane, the only hope 30 hostages on the 30th floor of the Nakatomi Plaza have for survival. One problem, he doesn’t have shoes! “Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill the one with feet smaller than my sister.”

10. Die Hard 2 (1990)
John McClane just can’t catch a break. Terrorists took over the Dulles Airport, and the cops just towed his mother in-law’s new car! Honestly though John, who is going to loan you a car after Live Free, Die Hard?

11. Eight Crazy Nights (2002) – First Night of Hanukkah
Adam Sandler plays an animated jackass Jew that needs a Hanukkah miracle to turn his life around.

12. Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
Santa becomes institutionalized, but gets himself a lawyer, and Christmas is saved! Let’s see Johnnie Cochran do that! This movie has been redone a handful of times, but in this case, the original is the best.

13. Scrooged (1988)
Based loosely on Dickens’ Christmas Carol, this version is just a little more fun. Bill Murray is about to be visited by three Christmas spirits. No it isn’t Ghostbusters 5!

14. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
What holiday would be complete without a horror story? Well, Christmas would… but screw that! In this early 80’s horror classic, as a boy he watched as his parents were slaughtered by a burglar in a Santa suit. Now a grown up Billy finally snaps, grabs his own Santa suit, and goes on a killing spree.

15. Gremlins (1984)
Live pets are the greatest gift anyone could get for Christmas… that is, unless they kill you!

16. Rent (2005) ~ The: Filmed Live on Broadway (2008) version is better in my eyes, but to each their own.
Following the lives of bums in the East Village that refuse to pay rent, this musical will pluck at your heart strings. However I do not recommend this movie for people who are against gays or bums or bohemians or free speech or…

17. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
One day you're just a Muggle living under the stairs, the next day you're riding a broomstick and chasing a Snitch... where does the time go?

18. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
This cartoon may lack machine guns and sexual innuendo, but Charlie gets it right in the end, learning the true meaning of Christmas. Because this is a short “film,” I would likely add to it with the following:

18a. The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
That’s right, they made a Holiday Special. George Lucas has done everything aside from nuclear attack to hide this hideous step child of the Star Wars dynasty. In this horror, we follow Chewie to his home to Kashyyyk where they celebrate Life Day (the real beginning of politically correct holidays!). If the soft core wookie porn doesn’t get you, the insane singing guest spots will.

19. The Preacher’s Wife (1996)
This is a remake of The Bishop’s Wife (1947), but I’m going with the newer version this time to inject a little Denzel into the holiday. Washington plays an angel named Dudley coming to answer the prayers of a troubled Reverend.

20. Beautiful Girls (1996)
Classic homecoming movie featuring some great talent including a young Natalie Portman dishing out sage advice. This is probably my favorite “not really a Christmas” Christmas movie.

21. The Santa Clause (1994)
Tim Allen kills Santa Claus, now he must BECOME Santa Claus!

22. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) – My Brother’s 39th Birthday
The Grinch steals Christmas from Whoville… literally! He like goes down the mountain with a magical sack, and steals EVERYTHING! Can you say Original Gangster? Yeah this one has been redone, but why mess with perfection. Again, because this is a short “film,” I would likely add to it with the following:

22a. A Garfield Christmas Special (1987)
Garfield, Christmas… need I say more?

22b. Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983)
Throw one more Scrooge on the ol’ Christmas fire! In this classic retelling, Scrooge McDuck is… well… Scrooge. Same story, same ghosts, this time they are just Disney cartoons.

22c. Frosty the Snowman (1969)
He’s ALIVE!!!

23. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
Clark Griswold is depending on a good Christmas bonus this year so he can give the family a new pool, will it happen? This film, in all its comedy, damn near captures family Christmas to perfection, and depicts the reason there are so many holiday themed alcoholic drinks. Eggnog anyone?

24. White Christmas (1954)
Back to the classics with Bing and Danny Kaye who in their endeavors after leaving the Army find themselves at a struggling lodge in Vermont owned by their old commanding General. One of the greatest Christmas musicals ever.

25. Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Empire State Building, Apocalypse. (Okay, no Apocalypse) Hanks plays Sam who after a year and a half is still struggling with the loss of his wife. Through some convincing from his meddling son, Sam spills his guts on national radio, and all the sudden he is the biggest stud in the US. Proof women really do want the sensitive guy.

26. The Night They Saved Christmas (1984)
Yeah good luck finding this one! A made for TV movie in the mid 80’s, this flick is about an oil companies attack on the North Pole! Those bastards! Can Santa convince the oil exec’s family to save his village?

27. Home Alone (1990)
Macaulay Culkin plays Kevin, the black sheep of the McCallister family, and is accidentally left behind while the family flies to France for Christmas. With the home empty, Kevin must fend off several burglary attempts from a pair of halfwit robbers.

28. The Family Stone (2005)
This movie features the family we all want, but will never have. The prodigal son returns to ask for mother’s wedding ring so he can propose to a woman everyone in the family despises. Ahh Rachel McAdams, if only you were a slobby wreck in real life…

29. A Christmas Story (1983) – Christmas Eve
Good luck avoiding this movie on Christmas Eve… might as well just succumb to its masterful look at Christmas in the 40’s. Throw on your favorite pink bunny pj’s and take a shot every time someone say’s “You’ll shoot your eye out;” the proper way to prepare for Christmas.

30. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) – Christmas Day
If anyone ever tries to revamp this movie, they will be shot dead. This is the best Christmas movie ever made. You haven’t seen this movie? Well come to my place on December 25th 2015 and grab a spot on the couch, we’ll watch it together.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!
And feel free to add your own Christmas and Not So Christmas favorites to the end of this list.

“Now I have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho.”

Burly Brown Turkey Stew

When the temperature drops below freezing and an extra comforter finds your bed, it’s only natural to mix beer with dinner. The idea of brewing thick, full bodied, nutrient rich beers for long winter months has been around since the origins of beer itself. And though today advertisements might convince you to throw on a parka and drink a Coors Light when you’re up in the mountains, where’s the flavor in that? I say give me your ambers, your browns, your stouts, your bocks… and let me cook with them! Beer is perfect in breads, chili, steak marinades, a pint glass… today it’s perfect in stew!

Ingredients:

2 Bottles of Point Burly Brown (or your favorite local brown beer)
1 lb Ground Turkey
8 oz Frozen Peas
8 oz Frozen Corn
5 Medium Red Potatoes
12 oz Baby Carrots
1 Small White Onion
3 Cans of Tomato Soup

Makes approximately 4 quarts of stew.

Empty the three cans of tomato soup into a 5 quart slow cooker, and add 1 bottle of beer. While stirring the beer and tomato soup, take the second bottle of Burly Brown and drink it (this enhances your aromatic judgment and cuisine creativity – if you are not very creative in general, be sure to increase the dosage by 1). Once the mixture is smooth, turn the slow cooker up to High. Chop the Baby carrots into thick coins and the red potatoes into ¾ inch cubes (not too small, not too big). Rinse all the potatoes and carrots and throw them into the crock.

Place a 12 inch nonstick skillet on medium heat, coat the bottom with olive oil and add the ground turkey. Mince half of the white onion and mix in with the meat. Salt and pepper generously until you can smell that the meat is peppery. Chop and mix until brown, add a tablespoon of chicken seasoning (I prefer McCormick’s Montreal Chicken seasoning). Take your ground turkey off of the heat and let it sit. Loosely chop the rest of the onions and add them to the ground turkey.

Meanwhile, back at the crock pot, dash in a tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce and some ground cayenne pepper, spice to your desire. Add a tablespoon of whole savory, and a tablespoon of your favorite Italian seasoning. Grab that pepper mill and go to town for a minute (12-15 cranks). Finally add your turkey meat and 1-2 teaspoons of salt to bring out the flavors. Let the stew sit on high for 1 hour.

After an hour your house will smell delicious, and you will likely have upped the beer toll to 3. Now it’s time to add the frozen peas and corn (I like frozen because it’s easy to acquire and can handle the prolonged heat). Smell your Stew, Taste your Stew… add Chicken Seasoning and Italian Seasoning to taste. It should be slightly peppery with a bit of a sweet aftertaste. Don’t be afraid to add a little brown sugar, pepper, cayenne pepper, salt, or even more beer if needed! Let the stew continue simmering for at least 30 more minutes or until the potatoes are tender enough to eat. Serve with a few slices of buttered bread and soak up the velvety tomato stock. No, a fourth beer is not out of the question.

Exposure

I walk on water.
Though it's usually thin,
she still calls it ice.

Song For My Heart

I don’t mean to be too bold
but you told me I’ve a heart of gold
and I just wanted you to know
though you treat me like it’s been bought and sold

I’ve replaced each valve myself
it’s not store bought off some shelf
I didn’t haggle on the price with God
as His mechanic pulled it out the mould
I’ve cut my chest – I’ve sewn each stitch
to replace the pieces that were missed

brushed each chamber with steel wool
and oiled by my blackened soul
I do have this Heart of Gold
and it did shatter left exposed

so it’s unfair as I close my chest
of you to ask for one more kiss
I don’t mean to be too bold
but you told me I’ve a heart of gold
and I just wanted you to know
Hearts are heavy when they’re gold

Pork Tenderloin Autumn Salad

Now I know what you're thinking... A Salad? You can't be serious! But I guarantee this salad is right up your alley. First of all, let's get rid of the lettuce, the dressing, the croutons, the bacon bits. Bacon bits? Who wants a bacon BIT!? No, instead we're going to use the best cut of pig we can find. Let's make a salad out of Pork Tenderloin! Instead of lettuce, for color and "nutritional value" we'll use broccoli florets and Delicata squash. Three ingredients, easy enough right? Let's hit it.

What we need:
1 Pork Tenderloin (cut down the center as to flatten into a large steak)
1 Delicata Squash (Cream color with green stripes, oblong, tastes like sweet potato)
3 Cups of Broccoli Florets (FRESH! Don't you even touch the freezer!)

Now, you CAN get creative with the rest of these ingredients (I give you permission), if you don't have it, substitute!

1 clove of garlic
2 Tbsp brown sugar
Curry
Salt
Pepper
Water
Butter
Olive Oil

Grab your Delicata (the squash, dummy) and cut it in half lengthwise, scoop out the guts and peel it with a potato peeler. Take the peeled Delicata and cut into one inch cubes. Warm a 12" non stick skillet on Medium heat, throw in a Tbsp of butter and equal olive oil. Salt and pepper the cubes, and throw them on the hot skillet. Cover and let sear until crisp and brown on one side. Flip and add 1/2 cup of water. Cover, reduce heat to medium-low, and let cook. Sprinkle generous amounts of curry or any Indian spice mix you have (Tandoori is perfect, but I like the spice in a Red Curry blend). Add more water if needed, and cook until a fork easily cuts the cubes. Once this is done, dump the cubes into a large mixing bowl, mix in 2 Tbsp of water, and 2 Tbsp of brown sugar. Leave in the bowl.

Now throw a Tbsp of olive oil into the skillet. Salt and pepper the non fat side of your tenderloin (the pork) and throw it seasoned side down into the skillet. Raise back to Medium and cover. Cook until browned and beginning to crisp. Salt and pepper the fat side, and flip. Again cover and cook until fully seared. Take the tenderloin off of your skillet, and place on a cutting board. Now cube the tenderloin into pieces about 1 1/2 inches in size (yeah, bigger than 1" but smaller than 2" cubes). Throw them back into the skillet with about a cloves worth of minced garlic, a Tbsp of butter, and flip to all uncooked sides. Make sure they get a nice brown crisp on all sides. Once this is done, place them in the mixing bowl with the Delicata cubes.

Lastly, throw your broccoli florets into the skillet with some salt, pepper, and a half cup of water. Cover and let them ghetto steam until partially softened (keep a little crunch, for the "salad" effect). Add more water and flip if needed. reduce heat to low, and add all ingredients back to the skillet. Flip a few times, and enjoy your "Ain't no bacon Bits" Pork Tenderloin Salad.

Parmesan Chicken Pieces

To me, the staple of any decent Italian restaurant is their Parmesan Chicken. If it's great, you'll be back next week. If it's horrible, there's just no reason to try anything else they make. My Parmesan Chicken is so good that it will soon find itself a monthly staple in your home. We take the best part, the crisp skin, and multiply it by cutting the chicken into pieces. This also helps the chicken pieces hold more sauce, and cook faster. Good enough to eat on its own, my Parmesan Chicken Pieces are best over pasta with your favorite red sauce. Here goes:

1 clove garlic, minced
1 stick unsalted butter (1/2 cup or 1/4 pound), melted
1 cup dried bread crumbs
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese (or 2/3 cup if you are using a Microplane zester)
2 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
A large pinch of Italian seasoning (herb mix)
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 lbs of skinless, boneless, chicken meat, cut into pieces no larger than 2x2 inches

1 Preheat oven to 450°F.

2 In a bowl, combine the minced garlic with the melted butter. In another bowl mix together the bread crumbs, Parmesan, parsley, salt, garlic salt, Italian seasoning, and pepper. Dip chicken pieces into garlic butter, then into crumb mixture to coat.

3 Place coated chicken pieces on to a 9x13 baking dish. Try to leave a little room between each piece. Drizzle with remaining garlic butter and bake uncovered 15 minutes, or until chicken is cooked through and juices run clear. Note that the chicken will get much more browned on the bottom side than on the top. If you prefer the chicken to be crispier, flip after 10 minutes, and cook on the second side for the remaining 5 minutes.

Serves 4-6.

October Leaves

The wind curls leaves into a story
about girls dancing at the end of ballet class
no longer forgotten in leaf piles during hide and seek
we sought, they circled back to life

In their story they dance free
like fairies lady bugs and bumble bees
ascending over streets with full command
of green and yellow, red and back again

To a life where they’re born free
be anything they want to be
vampires ghosts and zombies
back to life just like the leaves

Dustin's Perfect Bloody Mary

1 1/2 oz. Vodka
4 dashes Lea & Perrins Worcestershire Sauce
6 dashes Franks Red Hot Sauce
6-8 Vlasic Mild Banana Pepper Rings
1tsp Cayenne Pepper
2tsp Ground Black Pepper
2tsp Minced Garlic
1 pinch of Celery Salt
1-2 Beef Bouillon Cubes (ground up)
1/8 cup of Banana Pepper Juice (out of the Vlasic Banana Pepper or Pepperoncini jars)
1 Vlasic Pepperoncini
1 Claussen Kosher Dill Pickle Spear
1-2 Cubes of Cheese
1-2 Cubes of Beef Summer Sausage
2-3 Green Olives
V8 Juice
Ice
Pint Glass
Straw
Large Wooden Toothpick/Skewer

Fill Pint Glass to the top with Ice. Pour half full with V8 Juice and add Vodka, Worcestershire, Franks, Banana Pepper Rings, Cayenne Pepper, Black Pepper, Minced Garlic, Celery Salt, Beef Bouillon, and Banana Pepper Juice. Mix with the ice to fully disperse all ingredients. Fill Pint Glass to nearly the top and again mix. Run the Wooden Skewer through the Dill Pickle and place all Olives, Beef Cubes, and Cheese Cubes on the skewer, place on top of the glass with the Dill Pickle dangling into the glass and holding it to the glass. Place the Pepperoncini on the top of the drink and add a straw. Give it a pre-tasting to make sure there is enough Banana Pepper Juice to keep the V8 equaled out. Serve.

I have been making this recipe (or one very similar) for a few months now and have had several good comments. Some of the ingredients are fairly specific as not all pickles are the same. On the other hand, everyone has a different take on Cheese (I prefer a nice Colby or Sharp Cheddar). Feel free to be creative with this recipe, for instance it does not need vodka and tastes exactly the same as a Virgin Bloody Mary. If someone tells you they hate tomato juice, I do too... but I love this drink!

Crusted Salmon with Dijon Dill Dipping Sauce

This is my favorite salmon recipe! Enjoy!!

Make two nice and even salmon filets. If the skin is still on the salmon, run a knife between the meat and skin, removing the skin and leaving as much fat as possible on the salmon. Sprinkle salt and pepper on the side without fat and let settle to room temperature for 15 minutes. Heat a non-stick skillet on medium heat (adjust if too hot), and melt a tablespoon of butter and a tablespoon of olive oil in the pan. Put both filets on the skillet, salt and pepper side down (fat side up). While it is cooking, salt and pepper the fat side. Now take bread crumbs and pat the fatty side with crumbs until it is fully coated but not loose. Flip the filets over when the cooked side has a golden brown sheen with crispy brown edges (about 3 minutes). Cook the crusted side until it is fully browned and crispy, add butter or olive oil if needed. Take the filets off the skillet and let them sit, crusted side up.

Dipping sauce (make before or while cooking), take 2 tablespoons of mayo and mix with 2 tablespoons of Dijon mustard, mix in 1 teaspoon of dill seasoning (measurements are approximate, mix to taste). Drizzle a small amount of sauce on the crispy breading and off to the side of the plate. Serve while still crispy.

On You Sleeping With My Girlfriend

Fuck

Electric Powered People

What life do I still hold,
I just woke up in a cube the size of six coffins
stacked two wide, side by side.
Cold fabric walls with pushpins
spelling out rainbow designs and a calendar
I've forgotten to turn in 6 months time.
Email streams endless, power drawn in thick cables
to phone, tower, monitor, but not yet plugged into me.
A cellphone my connection, my salvation, my savior
not Jesus
or a lifejacket
or a woman
or a pen.
Funny ear muffs stream other people’s thoughts and anger and piss.
I learn myself the phonetic alphabet
just so I can talk to your brain dead grandmother,
as I still wait for death panels to cancel service to the elderly.
News tells me I'm lucky, I didn't drift off in a storm
or get shot in a frat party,
or lose my job to outsourcing,
so it's back to my electric powered life.

Cooking... really?

Yesterday I created a fish bake loosely based on a creamy halibut dish my girlfriend (Renee) prepared two months back. I tried calling her for some assistance on the temperature and wet ingredients, but she was not available. So... I winged it. Winged, is that a word??? I decided to wing it!! And normally I would not report such a thing. Some winging attempts have resulted in me pouring inedible garbage down the toilet, the disposal, or even just throwing out the back door. Not this time, though. No, this time hopeful as I was, when smelling the creamy dill sauce as I escorted the warm stoneware dish from the oven, I knew I was in for a treat.

My first bite was creamy and buttery with that hint of oil separation that makes lasagna fantastic, and a flavor understated yet confident in its dill-ightfulness. I fell backward to my kitchen sink, and cursed myself for not forcing my roommate (sitting less than 10 feet away) to confirm my euphoria. Instead I silently shook in a food induced seizure beating my chest to make sure I was awake. And then, as my tongue trembled, I took another bite.

Of course, this could all be circumstantial... when the result of a wing and a prayer is favorable it's too often looked upon as a miracle. In this case, I know what I saw, what I smelled, and what I tasted. And for that moment, it was heaven.

Creamy Cod Fillet Miracle Bake

3-4 Cod Fillets
2/3 cup sour cream
1/3 cup milk
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup Romano cheese (fine shred or grate)
1/3 cup seasoned bread crumbs
2 TBSP of butter
dill weed
salt
paprika
lemon juice
olive oil

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Dry the cod fillets on a few pieces of paper towel till the fillets are able to soak in new moisture. Squirt lemon juice on each fillet front and back, and rub in. Dab a little olive oil on each fillet front and back, and rub in. Crack salt on each fillet front and back. Sprinkle dill weed on each fillet front and back.

Place fillets in a stoneware dish at least 2 inches deep, do not crowd the fish, they should only cover about 3/4ths of the surface. Sprinkle about a third of the Romano cheese on the fish.


In a mixing bowl, combine the sour cream, milk, butter, and mayo. Add dill weed to season. Pour contents of mixing bowl to the sides of the fish. Make sure the liquid is just short of the height of the fillets, but ladle some of the liquid over each fillet to completely cover them. Hit each fillet with some paprika.

Place in the oven for 12-15 minutes.

In a separate mixing bowl, combine the rest of the Romano cheese with the bread crumbs. Mix and press them well.

Pull the fish out of the oven, turn the oven on to broil. Cover with the bread crumbs, pressing some into the fish. Sprinkle some melted butter over the top. Place back into the oven, and cook till golden.