Pork Tenderloin Autumn Salad

Now I know what you're thinking... A Salad? You can't be serious! But I guarantee this salad is right up your alley. First of all, let's get rid of the lettuce, the dressing, the croutons, the bacon bits. Bacon bits? Who wants a bacon BIT!? No, instead we're going to use the best cut of pig we can find. Let's make a salad out of Pork Tenderloin! Instead of lettuce, for color and "nutritional value" we'll use broccoli florets and Delicata squash. Three ingredients, easy enough right? Let's hit it.

What we need:
1 Pork Tenderloin (cut down the center as to flatten into a large steak)
1 Delicata Squash (Cream color with green stripes, oblong, tastes like sweet potato)
3 Cups of Broccoli Florets (FRESH! Don't you even touch the freezer!)

Now, you CAN get creative with the rest of these ingredients (I give you permission), if you don't have it, substitute!

1 clove of garlic
2 Tbsp brown sugar
Curry
Salt
Pepper
Water
Butter
Olive Oil

Grab your Delicata (the squash, dummy) and cut it in half lengthwise, scoop out the guts and peel it with a potato peeler. Take the peeled Delicata and cut into one inch cubes. Warm a 12" non stick skillet on Medium heat, throw in a Tbsp of butter and equal olive oil. Salt and pepper the cubes, and throw them on the hot skillet. Cover and let sear until crisp and brown on one side. Flip and add 1/2 cup of water. Cover, reduce heat to medium-low, and let cook. Sprinkle generous amounts of curry or any Indian spice mix you have (Tandoori is perfect, but I like the spice in a Red Curry blend). Add more water if needed, and cook until a fork easily cuts the cubes. Once this is done, dump the cubes into a large mixing bowl, mix in 2 Tbsp of water, and 2 Tbsp of brown sugar. Leave in the bowl.

Now throw a Tbsp of olive oil into the skillet. Salt and pepper the non fat side of your tenderloin (the pork) and throw it seasoned side down into the skillet. Raise back to Medium and cover. Cook until browned and beginning to crisp. Salt and pepper the fat side, and flip. Again cover and cook until fully seared. Take the tenderloin off of your skillet, and place on a cutting board. Now cube the tenderloin into pieces about 1 1/2 inches in size (yeah, bigger than 1" but smaller than 2" cubes). Throw them back into the skillet with about a cloves worth of minced garlic, a Tbsp of butter, and flip to all uncooked sides. Make sure they get a nice brown crisp on all sides. Once this is done, place them in the mixing bowl with the Delicata cubes.

Lastly, throw your broccoli florets into the skillet with some salt, pepper, and a half cup of water. Cover and let them ghetto steam until partially softened (keep a little crunch, for the "salad" effect). Add more water and flip if needed. reduce heat to low, and add all ingredients back to the skillet. Flip a few times, and enjoy your "Ain't no bacon Bits" Pork Tenderloin Salad.

Parmesan Chicken Pieces

To me, the staple of any decent Italian restaurant is their Parmesan Chicken. If it's great, you'll be back next week. If it's horrible, there's just no reason to try anything else they make. My Parmesan Chicken is so good that it will soon find itself a monthly staple in your home. We take the best part, the crisp skin, and multiply it by cutting the chicken into pieces. This also helps the chicken pieces hold more sauce, and cook faster. Good enough to eat on its own, my Parmesan Chicken Pieces are best over pasta with your favorite red sauce. Here goes:

1 clove garlic, minced
1 stick unsalted butter (1/2 cup or 1/4 pound), melted
1 cup dried bread crumbs
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese (or 2/3 cup if you are using a Microplane zester)
2 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
A large pinch of Italian seasoning (herb mix)
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 lbs of skinless, boneless, chicken meat, cut into pieces no larger than 2x2 inches

1 Preheat oven to 450°F.

2 In a bowl, combine the minced garlic with the melted butter. In another bowl mix together the bread crumbs, Parmesan, parsley, salt, garlic salt, Italian seasoning, and pepper. Dip chicken pieces into garlic butter, then into crumb mixture to coat.

3 Place coated chicken pieces on to a 9x13 baking dish. Try to leave a little room between each piece. Drizzle with remaining garlic butter and bake uncovered 15 minutes, or until chicken is cooked through and juices run clear. Note that the chicken will get much more browned on the bottom side than on the top. If you prefer the chicken to be crispier, flip after 10 minutes, and cook on the second side for the remaining 5 minutes.

Serves 4-6.

October Leaves

The wind curls leaves into a story
about girls dancing at the end of ballet class
no longer forgotten in leaf piles during hide and seek
we sought, they circled back to life

In their story they dance free
like fairies lady bugs and bumble bees
ascending over streets with full command
of green and yellow, red and back again

To a life where they’re born free
be anything they want to be
vampires ghosts and zombies
back to life just like the leaves

Dustin's Perfect Bloody Mary

1 1/2 oz. Vodka
4 dashes Lea & Perrins Worcestershire Sauce
6 dashes Franks Red Hot Sauce
6-8 Vlasic Mild Banana Pepper Rings
1tsp Cayenne Pepper
2tsp Ground Black Pepper
2tsp Minced Garlic
1 pinch of Celery Salt
1-2 Beef Bouillon Cubes (ground up)
1/8 cup of Banana Pepper Juice (out of the Vlasic Banana Pepper or Pepperoncini jars)
1 Vlasic Pepperoncini
1 Claussen Kosher Dill Pickle Spear
1-2 Cubes of Cheese
1-2 Cubes of Beef Summer Sausage
2-3 Green Olives
V8 Juice
Ice
Pint Glass
Straw
Large Wooden Toothpick/Skewer

Fill Pint Glass to the top with Ice. Pour half full with V8 Juice and add Vodka, Worcestershire, Franks, Banana Pepper Rings, Cayenne Pepper, Black Pepper, Minced Garlic, Celery Salt, Beef Bouillon, and Banana Pepper Juice. Mix with the ice to fully disperse all ingredients. Fill Pint Glass to nearly the top and again mix. Run the Wooden Skewer through the Dill Pickle and place all Olives, Beef Cubes, and Cheese Cubes on the skewer, place on top of the glass with the Dill Pickle dangling into the glass and holding it to the glass. Place the Pepperoncini on the top of the drink and add a straw. Give it a pre-tasting to make sure there is enough Banana Pepper Juice to keep the V8 equaled out. Serve.

I have been making this recipe (or one very similar) for a few months now and have had several good comments. Some of the ingredients are fairly specific as not all pickles are the same. On the other hand, everyone has a different take on Cheese (I prefer a nice Colby or Sharp Cheddar). Feel free to be creative with this recipe, for instance it does not need vodka and tastes exactly the same as a Virgin Bloody Mary. If someone tells you they hate tomato juice, I do too... but I love this drink!

Crusted Salmon with Dijon Dill Dipping Sauce

This is my favorite salmon recipe! Enjoy!!

Make two nice and even salmon filets. If the skin is still on the salmon, run a knife between the meat and skin, removing the skin and leaving as much fat as possible on the salmon. Sprinkle salt and pepper on the side without fat and let settle to room temperature for 15 minutes. Heat a non-stick skillet on medium heat (adjust if too hot), and melt a tablespoon of butter and a tablespoon of olive oil in the pan. Put both filets on the skillet, salt and pepper side down (fat side up). While it is cooking, salt and pepper the fat side. Now take bread crumbs and pat the fatty side with crumbs until it is fully coated but not loose. Flip the filets over when the cooked side has a golden brown sheen with crispy brown edges (about 3 minutes). Cook the crusted side until it is fully browned and crispy, add butter or olive oil if needed. Take the filets off the skillet and let them sit, crusted side up.

Dipping sauce (make before or while cooking), take 2 tablespoons of mayo and mix with 2 tablespoons of Dijon mustard, mix in 1 teaspoon of dill seasoning (measurements are approximate, mix to taste). Drizzle a small amount of sauce on the crispy breading and off to the side of the plate. Serve while still crispy.

On You Sleeping With My Girlfriend

Fuck

Electric Powered People

What life do I still hold,
I just woke up in a cube the size of six coffins
stacked two wide, side by side.
Cold fabric walls with pushpins
spelling out rainbow designs and a calendar
I've forgotten to turn in 6 months time.
Email streams endless, power drawn in thick cables
to phone, tower, monitor, but not yet plugged into me.
A cellphone my connection, my salvation, my savior
not Jesus
or a lifejacket
or a woman
or a pen.
Funny ear muffs stream other people’s thoughts and anger and piss.
I learn myself the phonetic alphabet
just so I can talk to your brain dead grandmother,
as I still wait for death panels to cancel service to the elderly.
News tells me I'm lucky, I didn't drift off in a storm
or get shot in a frat party,
or lose my job to outsourcing,
so it's back to my electric powered life.